There comes a time when the bubble of ego is popped and you can’t get the ground back for an extended period of time. Those times, when you absolutely cannot get it back together, are the most rich and powerful times in our lives. -Unknown
I started this blog 2.5 years ago as a side project. Mostly to document my active pregnancy with Axel and Kalden’s expanding interest in our biggest passion- cycling! I’ve never taken it too seriously but have always felt the desire to keep it going. I’ve enjoyed the new relationships I’ve formed with other bloggers; the opportunities to dab in writing outside this blog; and the ‘free’ gear that occasionally comes my way. But I’ve also found it really hard to be good at this blogging thing, to please my readers (most of them imagined), gain followers, get noticed etc…
Boy, I just realized this sounds like I’m about to throw in the towel on Velo Mom.
I’m not. I’m going to get more consistent. I want to practice my writing, share more, and see where it goes. Write to write. Give this space more of my attention, at least more of my attention two days a week. I’ll say now Tuesdays and Thursdays.
I’ll blog on Tuesdays and Thursday and try to hold a schedule. That’s blogging 101 and something I should have done 2.5 years ago so really it’s the least I can do. I will also do a little redesign to better focus my writing. The blog will still be Velo Mom as the name is relevant. Cycling continues to be a huge part of our life. If you are here for cycling stories, reviews, and family adventures on the bike don’t fret.
I’m also going to focus more on our new life since Axel died. If there is one thing I know for certain it’s that grief does change you…and most people don’t want you to change. It’s easier to just give you some space for a few months and then expect you to carry on as normal. But from what I can tell that doesn’t happen to anyone especially not anyone that’s lost a child. Grief sites and boards are filled with people that act normal in public and carry on – but they aren’t. They are stuck or hardened or both. And it goes on for years, maybe forever. I’m not entirely certain and I don’t want to stick around those sites to find out.
Then there are those special few who accept the shift, find a new space, experience joy daily, and live from the heart. They don’t just carry on, they grow. They stop trying to please others because they know something deeper. I have known from early on in this grieving process that I will be that person. I will never forget Axel but he would want me to grow rather than remain the same or enter some dark cave.
So I’ll show up here and start because I know better than anyone that today is all we have.